I am now out of the house! Swaddled in sunscreen and hats and sunglasses and layers so no death rays touch my newly born-again skin….but at least I can feel the sun on my ( very covered up) back. It feels divine. Life giving.
My recent sensory deprivation has had me thinking about joy and contentment and happiness. I feel the world I live in is busy chasing happiness at the cost of its lesser regarded companions joy and contentment. Then of course I realised this was just a hunch and possibly a very ill informed one. Was I splitting hairs? Do people even consider them differently?
For me joy often sneaks up unexpectedly. I don’t search it out. This past week it’s the unmistakable scent of the first wild freesia for the season, leaping out at me as I walk in the dark. Or it’s seeing a woman decked out in her full Richmond colours on the platform at Jolimont, even though her team are nowhere near the finals, it’s my friend’s very kooky dog snuggling into my neck for a very rare cuddle, it’s making and sharing and eating this wonderful cheesecake by the ever fun Alison Roman, and it’s the shadow moving across my wall as the sun tracks across the sky. It’s fleeting and delightful, it’s in a precise moment, and so worth it.
Contentment is a deeper, warmer, more ongoing feeling for me. It gives a solid base and tells me I have enough and I am enough. It requires no striving, rather acceptance. It’s the opposite of more. Of growth. Even in my fairly curated and sheltered social media feed though contentment seems scorned. Be more, it shouts! Be better! Have a better relationship. Be more stylish. Look younger. Be more flexible. Use your workout time more effectively. Earn more. Cook better…..every now and then some buddhist or stoic sentiment creeps through and I feel relieved. But with the sun on my back after a weekend spent in the company of old and new friends and playful or snoozing dogs, how could I want more? Maybe if as a culture we could practise contentment more and growth less the planet would be in better shape.
Happiness…elusive for so many also seems to have an elusive definition.
Happiness can be defined as an enduring state of mind consisting not only of feelings of joy, contentment, and other positive emotions, but also of a sense that one's life is meaningful and valued (Lyubomirsky, 2001)
So, is happiness the sum total of other emotions? I don’t know, but I think I have worked out that I don't need to look for it. Maybe contentment has more to offer me as it includes space for sadness and disappointment and anger.
More questions than answers. And I am not the only one thinking about this. The marvellous Red Hand Files by Nick Cave this last week took a twist. Instead of answering questions from readers Nick asked readers a question. He asked “Where or how do you find your joy?” The answers numbered in their thousands and reading them is indeed a joy! I highly recommend you spend a bit of time browsing or even immersing yourself in the answers.
Hoping this week brings joy or happiness or contentment.
Hair splitting is useful I think, I've had contentment bouncing round my cranium for days now trying to come to grips. I think I've found contentment in change, opening myself up to new ideas and thoughts, getting out of my carefully curated bubble. Is that happy contentment or happy making dis-contentment. Still a few laps to go before sorting this one out I think. Happily puzzling this one, thanks